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Recently I picked up the book "Mother & Son" by Dr. Emerson Eggerichs. He is one of my fave authors and his newest book definitely delivers. Many pages of my book are dog-eared and I wanted to share some of his insights with you. Whether you are a mom to a one year old boy or twenty-one year old man, there are nuggets for you in his book.
One thing we as mothers do well isn't necessarily what our boys need most. We love well. Usually not a day goes by that a mom doesn't tell her sons (or daughters), "I love you!" Granted that is a lovely thing to say but what a son needs to hear most is that he is respected; that you are proud of him. Men die in battle for honor and respect.
Watch your son swell with pride when you say, "I respect the man you are becoming...I am proud that you learned to ride your bike so well..." A few pages, including page 51, in my copy of his book are double dog-eared. One of the things I like about this book is that Dr. Eggerichs gives us the vocabulary and language to use to communicate in a way that speaks to the hearts of our sons.
Not sure about you, but I want my kids' hearts not just their lip service. I tried some of Dr. Eggerichs' cues and have used the "respect talk" with my sons. When they do or don't listen, I tell them, "You are an honorable boy and honorable boys listen to their moms." I speak to what they are becoming and speak into their future. So far, every time I mention the words "honor" or "respectful" their demeanor changes and they act in honorable, respectful ways. They live up to it. I'm amazed and delighted.
Dr. Eggerichs offers many examples of mother and son interactions and situations in his book to give us moms the tools needed to benefit our relationships. Try his examples for yourself and see how your son/s respond.
Even better, put this book on your book list to read for the upcoming year. Dr. Eggerichs also has a book for the family titled, "Love & Respect in the Family." I'm sure it is good too.
Happy reading and happy respect talk!!
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